Can You Fall Out of Love???

What does it really mean to love someone? We say we love our wife, mom, dad, brothers and sisters but what does the word really mean? What about God? How do we love God? A book came out a few years ago called "The Five Love languages" in which the authors outlined five different methods for loving your spouse and others: words, deeds, gifts, physical touch and quality time. While the book is encouraging and does give a lot of "pointers" on how to make your relationships stronger it begs the question, "Is love a matter of finding what someone likes and doing "that" repeatedly?"

Paul gives a very nice, although not inclusive, list of actions which represent an attempt at defining love in 1 Corinthians 13. The apostle says love is: patient, kind, does not envy, is not arrogant, is not rude, does not insist on its own way, is not irritable or resentful, does to rejoice in wrongdoing, rejoices with the truth, bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things and never fails. Paul's definition draws our attention to the fact love is much more than a feeling or a few categories of action; love is an attitude of heart and a choice we make.

Jesus ultimately defines love in His sacrifice on the Cross for our sins. But before going to the Cross He demonstrates love by washing the feet of the disciples in John 13. Through this act of humility and service He demonstrated what it means to love. This act of humility, coupled with the Cross which soon followed, gives us a clear picture of how we are to live a life of perfect love. Paul writes in Romans 5:8, "God shows His love for us in that while we were still sinners Christ died for us." The love of Jesus was not something extended because of emotional attachments. Jesus demonstrated His love by choosing to give Himself for the sake of others...period. Jesus made a choice of attitude and action and in so doing shows us the definitive definition of love.

Obviously, our choice of attitude and action will affect how we feel emotionally. We know love has a real emotional aspect! The feeling of love is one of the most powerful and wonderful feelings we experience as human beings! We know Jesus felt the emotion of love because He was completely human when He walked the earth! But to simply define love as an emotion leaves a person vulnerable and in danger of missing out on genuine love at all. Infatuation and circumstantial emotional highs are a poor substitute for genuine love.

Often we hear people say they have fallen "out of love" with their spouse but the reality is something altogether different than the random accident or helpless tragedy to which they attribute the failure of their relationship. No person falls in or out of love! Love is not an accident or mysterious, allusive power upon which we stumble. Those who draw such conclusions have stripped love of what makes it such an emotional and powerful part of our lives; the choice of attitudes and actions which lead to feelings of emotion. If you take away this all important choice and reduce love to an accident or random chance, which is here today and gone tomorrow, you strip yourself of one of the most valuable gifts of your humanity...the CHOICE to love!

Choose to follow Christ, ask Him to help you love and let genuine love be a part of your life!

James