How Do You Forgive When You Don't Feel Like Doing So?

How in the world can we forgive someone we do not want to forgive? We just do not always want to forgive those who have hurt us. But, we know from Scripture it is always God's will for us to forgive those who have hurt us. When our emotions fail to agree with the revealed will of God, we are left looking for a path to obedience. How can we obey God's command to forgive when our heart refuses to cooperate?

First we must accept the idea that forgiveness is not contingent upon our emotions. If we wait until we feel like offering forgiveness we may not do so! We should never entertain the idea a specific emotion is necessary for a right action to occur. If we are going to live our life God's way there will be times when our emotions are in conflict with what we know to be God's will for our life. If a man follows his heart he will often find himself in places he never intended nor wanted to go!

Forgiveness is a choice we make by an act of our will. We know we should forgive so we choose to do so. When we are not in emotional agreement with this decision we pray for grace and power to do what we know to do. I have counseled folks on occasion to pray something like this, "God I want to forgive and I choose to forgive but I do not feel like forgiving. So Jesus, I ask you to make me willing to be willing to forgive. I ask you to do the forgiving through me and make forgiveness a reality even while I don't feel like doing so." I like a prayer such as this because it recognizes our desire to please God and dependence upon Him to do so. Such a prayer also recognizes the truth of our current situation; we don't feel like forgiving the one who has wronged us!

If you are struggling to forgive someone go to God and ask Him to make it possible for you to do what you know you should do...forgive. God can and will give you the grace and power to follow His will for your life.

James