Is it Ever Right to Withhold Forgiveness?

Can God forgive our sins against Him and we not forgive others their sins against us? Jesus said our sins would be forgiven in proportion to how we forgive others; so the idea of forgiveness is very important! God expects us to forgive when wronged; our forgiveness from God seems contingent upon such. If we cannot forgive others their trespasses against us we are not the kind of person who can receive the forgiveness God gives through Jesus Christ (Matthew 6:14-15). The real question is how can someone who has received the forgiveness of God NOT offer forgiveness to others when wronged? Whatever wrong we have suffered pales in comparison to our rebellious acts against God. 

Often forgiveness is difficult to give. Forgiveness involves a decision on our part to absolve someone the consequences of an action or word which has in some way caused us pain. The pain is real and often very deep. Often there is a desire to hold onto what we perceive is our "right" to seek some sort of comeuppance for the one who wronged us. Such a desire is real and part of our fallen human nature. If we deny such feelings we can never really deal with them nor arrive at a place where we can overcome them. Admit the pain and the feelings which come with them! Then take the hurt feelings to God and ask Him to help you move beyond them so the pain ceases to have power in your life. If you choose to hold onto your pain and harbor un-forgiveness you cripple yourself. The control and power un-forgiveness seems to give is really a mirage. You have, in such instances, become a slave to your emotions and ceded control of your life to that part of yourself which is most primal and depraved. As Scripture teaches, "Sin is crouching at your door and it seeks to master you." If you hold on to un-forgiveness because of the pain someone has caused in your life, sin has become your master. 

If you are a believer in Christ, God is ready to help you forgive those who have hurt you. (Forgiveness does not always mean life goes on as though the "thing" or "word" which hurt you never happened. If someone slaps you in the face you may forgive them but you will not put yourself in the situation to be slapped again!) You can give your pain to Christ, genuinely forgive others for what they have done and pray for those who have hurt you. Sometimes we forgive even while we hurt. In such instances we trust God for the ability to forgive when we don't feel like doing so. In such cases we simply trust God is in process of healing us.

Is it ever right to withhold forgiveness? Absolutely not. Sometimes it isn't easy and there are times when it even seems impossible to do but through Christ we can and should forgive.

Forgive and be free!
James